Who Moved My Cheese?

No, seriously... who?  Although this isn't hot-off-the-press news, I was recently reminded that Kraft completely pulled the rug from under all Southern cooks by discontinuing their treasured garlic cheese roll.  Our reaction was utter, heart-stopping shock.  Yankees have a difficult time understanding our outrage.  No splendid delicacy, it was truthfully more like Cheez Whiz with garlic powder, so our plight has received little sympathy from most uppity Northern neighbors.  In fact, most of them have never even heard of it (so they say). After several attempts to find it in ANY grocery store, I finally got together with my pal Google and started hunting.  There were a few things here and there... What happened to the Kraft garlic cheese?  Has it been discontinued?  Just rumors for a while, you see.  And then there it was.  Confirmed in black and white.  Devastating.  Completely devastating.  It's been discontinued.  WHAT ABOUT CHEESE GRITS!?!  WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS!?!?   No self-respecting Southern cheese grit recipe was without the roll.  And no self-respecting Southern Christmas morning was without the grits.  Oh, the horror.  Remember in "Rudolph" when Santa threatened to cancel Christmas?  That's what it was like, folks. 

And it's not just me.  A quick search on most any cooking site will find at least one, "HELP!  Kraft discontinued their garlic cheese roll!  What about my broccoli casserole?!"  One sweet soul trying to help shared that when he inquired at his local K-Roger just what on earth could replace this Southern staple, he was told that the yahoos at Kraft Inc. themselves sent down the word from above:  Apparently, their Kraft Easy Cheese Roasted Garlic Cheddar is the garlic cheese roll IN A CAN.  You know, the one that kids turn upside down and make aim for their mouth with in some sort of cheese-OD attempt?  That's the one.  I say, try it at your own risk.  But these are the Christmas grits we're talking about here.  Not a time to be chancing things.  Maybe we should just have a garlic roll revolt.  A cheese rebellion!  Even Facebook has two pages dedicated to bringing back the big orange roll.  Well, it worked for Betty White!

As before, no bells-and-whistles recipe, but the kind I like best:  sentimental!  This is the recipe that Mimi used to make those creamy, deliciously good cheese grits every Christmas morning (you listening, Kraft?  Taking away our traditions?  Our memories?!)  Of course, since then the recipes have been jazzed up with even more yumminess... bacon, sausage, Rotel and the like.  But THIS is where it all started.  Now to give proper credit, Mimi's recipe was from the absolutely wonderful, A Grand Heritage, A Culinary Legacy of Columbus, Mississippi.  Ole Possum Town has some of the best cooks in the world and everything in it is divine.  Of course the gorgeous Columbus photos and information are favorites of mine, too.  I have always kept mine out on a bookholder in my kitchen, open slap-dab to the middle to a photograph of a giant barbeque spread at Magowah Gun and Country Club.  The ribs are front-and-center, looking like they're about to jump right off the page into your drooling mouth.  Truly, a bib should be required just to look. 

Mandatory for all Columbus gals, I now have Mimi's, which was given to her by my Daddy and inscribed, "To Mimi, Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas 1983.  Edwin."  (My mother, my Aunt Kay and my Mimi were the only three people I ever heard call my Daddy, Bubba, by his Christian name.)   And don't you just love the way that Southern cookbooks credit their female contributors as "Mrs. WhateverHerHusbandsNameIs" and then their maiden name in parentheses?  I love the South.  Therefore, our family grits recipe for all of these many years is actually from Mrs. Howard Fisackerly (Doris Barrett) and it's the perfect one, of course.

Cheese Grits 

4 cups water (Mimi sez 3-3/4)               1/2 cup butter
1 teaspoon salt                                          1 (6 oz) roll garlic cheese (good luck!)
1 cup grits                                                  2 eggs and milk to make 1 cup

Preheat oven to 350F.  Bring the water and salt to a boil; add grits; simmer until done.  Add butter and cheese, stirring until melted.  In a large measuring cup, beat eggs and add milk to equal 1 cup.  Blend into grits; pour into a 2 quart casserole.  Bake for 30 to 40 minutes or until light brown on top.  Yield:  4 to 6 servings.

Note:  As I should have mentioned with the Fried Corn post, Cavender's Greek Seasoning should be added... to EVERYTHING in the world that isn't a dessert.  (And likewise, I add cracked black and red pepper as well).  And of course, Mimi had to add something extra, which was shredded Cheddar on top of the grits, added in the last 10 minutes or so for an even cheesier delight. 

Think I'll go make some right now.  Agh... no cheese!